Asshole

Have you ever heard that saying
If you meet more than three assholes
In a day, then you are probably
The asshole
?
I am pretty sure
That I am
An asshole.
The sickest part
Of realizing this
Is that I don't mind
Not really.
I sort of mind
That I don't mind.
But it seems
So rude
To pretend.
I can actually
Bite my tongue
For a long time
My mouth will be
Filled with blood
Before I tell you off
(If you're the reason)
But when I do
Blood will
Spatter your face
And I will not
Feel bad
My affection
For people
Intensifies
Or it fades
I am honest
But I choose my battles
Perhaps that is the problem
Maybe I should put up
A fight
Every. Fucking. Time.
Fight every thing
So you never think
I agree with you
When I don't
So you never think
I believe your lies
When I don't
So you never think
I admire you
When I don't
But so much of it
Is made of little things
Trivial things
Why fuss over that
Again and
Again and
Again
It chips away at me
All those little things
And some of them
Are not so little
At all
But why fight?
Why not
Enjoy each other's
Company?
Ah----
There it is!
Do I enjoy your company?
Your humor?
Your kindness?
Your confidence?
Your friendship?
Is it mutual---
This company?
Oh, dear---
I do hope you know the answer.
Most of those in my heart
Know the answer
Because most people
Even assholes
Pay attention
To more than
Their own interests
But if every thing
You pay attention to
Is about you
Only you
Even those things
You're learning/doing/whatever
Are about you
And your friends
Are about you
And why you
Do anything
For anyone
Is about what you like
What you get
What you want
To the point
That even the world
And its problems
Ultimately
Hone in on you
And ruin your good time
Then you
Might want to
Cover your face.
A wise asshole
Once told me
"Don't work at working!"
Framing everything
In nice, inoffensive
Language
Is too much work
Biting my tongue
Has become
Too much work
The results
Don't justify
The effort
So,
I am loosening my tongue
And letting the blood
Fly